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When Harry Met Sally


                                                                        

Intended ignorance is one of the causes of the disappointment in many relationships. Look at it as the basket of some of the few things that you do know and the little things you do not know, mixed with a lot of the many things you ignore to know about a person that's coming into your life. Boy meets girl is the case of "When Harry met Sally" (my own spin of course), Sally was so excited and in so much awe she became blind to the things she really needed to see about Harry and deaf to the words she really needed to hear about Harry. And of course mute to all the things she needed to have said to Harry. Then Harry married Sally in no time. At the beginning, it was like a marriage made in heaven, but not long, and not very long at all, it became a life lived in the depths of hell. At least it was for Sally. And suddenly, at least it seems, the man in Sally' s dreams has become the demon in her nightmare. A case of the chicken finally coming home to roost. Sally could not believe how Harry could have changed so quick and so soon. But was it Harry that has changed so soon or was it Sally that was seeing so late? Nevertheless,  Sally asked Harry how come he has changed so quickly and so soon. Harry then told Sally he hasn't changed at all but he is who he has always been.
Then what has happened to Harry? Or maybe the better question to ask is really "What has happened to Sally"? Situations and circumstances can and do change but people don't. At least men and women don't. Children can and they often do, simply as part of the track of their metamorphosis from childhood into adulthood. True change for adults is only made possible by the power of the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ and then it has to come from deep inside the soul. The reason is thst our values have already formed by the time we have crossed that threshold we call "adolescence. " People do not change. But we make the unconscious, and sometimes the conscious decision not to see them for who they really are. And that was what happened to Sally (mine that is). It is a case of intended ignorance. It is the case of one woman's intended blindness to the faults of a man. And sometimes the gravity of the devastation caused by intended ignorance is not seen until after the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared. Just as it is with most house fire it is also with relationships, there is always a smoke before the fire engulfs the house. The time to get out is when you are seeing smoke and not when the fire starts burning. But speaking as a matter of allegory, many of us runs into a house filled with smoke and then try to get out when the fire starts raging. Then it might be too late. Just speaking in matters of relationships only. Some fires are not intended for you to put out but intended for you to run from. After all has been said and done the poignant saying of African American women, "I can do bad all by myself" might not be a bad idea after all. It cannot be said better than the way the Lord said it, "beware of wolves dressed as sheep." And do not be surprised if the wolf in your life turns out to be the man or even for that matter the woman in your life. And by now you are beginning to ask yourself "What is the relationship between my "When Harry Met Sally" and Rob Reiner's When Harry Met Sally…a 1989 American romantic comedy film starring  Billy Crystal as Harry and Meg Ryan as Sally"? Really nothing beyond the complex nature of interpersonal communication between the life of a man and a woman caught in something called love. And just in the case you are still wondering. Harry and Sally ( at least Rob Reiner's) did get to live happily ever after. And for my Harry and Sally? Your guess is just as good as mine. I am Richard James.

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